Last night we played our enemies from the North again in basketball. We had previously beat the snot out of them at their place, despite the fact that they somehow knocked off both Duke and UCLA earlier this season. I mean there's the whole "even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes", but really given the state of the Wolverine athletic department lately, the more apt description would be: "Even a blind squirrel that's missing 1 1/2 ears, both front teeth, it's back left leg and front right leg, most of its hair, and has a birth defect for a tail finds a nut sometimes that is made out of pure gold. This nut is also the size of a H3 and accordingly is worth more than most third world countries. The defective squirrel somehow then develops a brain large enough to process the fact that it could make a ton of money on this nut, then takes the nut to market where he not only manages to defend it against many clever thieves of Matt Damon's character in Ocean's Eleven's caliber, he makes enough money to never have to work again. Then this squirrel takes the money and buys the Cleveland Browns (or Cincinnati Bengals, calm down brownies), the Kansas City Royals, the Columbus Blue Jackets, and the Memphis Grizzlies and then all of them win their championships in the same year. Then I run this squirrel over on my way to the Ohio State game vs. M*ch*g*n last night."
Ok, so that may have been long and too drawn out, but I never spare any expense when it comes to illustrating a point. So that's how they somehow beat those teams. However last night, we kicked them in the teeth and said, screw your blind squirrel I think he's dumb. The winter storm crap that has held Columbus hostage allowed for a bunch of students to go to the game for free however, and this made the crowd about as hostile as it will ever get in our crappy NBA/NHL arena. While it wasn't exactly loud, because we expect to beat those arrogant jerks from up north in everything we do now (which may or may not make us now the arrogant jerks), it certainly was fun to watch scUM struggle immensely in the first half. Let's just review it like this: 0-11 from outside the arc, 0-for the field until 10 minutes had passed in the game with them scoring off of a goaltending call and 2 made free throws, and more turnovers than can be counted. At the half we lead 36-18 and never looked back, with the winning margin being the same. Oh yeah, and one of their players got thrown out for elbowing PJ Hill in the face late in the game, making M*ch*g*n that much more hatable! They really are scUM...
Also, since we scored over 70 points for the game they gave out coupons for free fries from McDonald's. Bonus! So technically we got paid to go to the game, since we all got in for free. I ended up with 4 coupons and another win of scUM. A night that couldn't get better.
It's 5:28 and M*ch*g*n still sucks! Pwned. Hah.
Tonight, and for the next two days I'm going to be at a track coaching clinic with college coaches from all over the US here in Columbus. I'm giddy. Seriously. I'm such a track junkie at this point that it isn't even funny. I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to write about, so stay tuned for some stories.
2 comments:
The argument could be made to add Toronto FC into that list of terrible teams in the squirrel story...they created a rivalry with columbus by making up a trophy with us. They have yet to beat us and still tend that its a rivalry, its cute really.
Solid game by the bucks but what do you expect...its like playing your cousins when you are 5-10 years older its never really a game
some of your blog revisions look vaguely familiar ;)
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