The balance?

Hey guys, while I thought I would be posting more than I currently am with having internet 24/7...at least this is more frequently than this spring. Here's a bit of an update before I go into some thoughts on what is going through my head lately...

1.) I don't think I'm going to be getting the UA Track head coaching position. They have an in-district teacher that they are currently interviewing and thinking through, and have stated that they will go with if he seems on the level. Oh well, not a big deal. On the other track front, I haven't heard from my head coach at CCHS lately about the Darby situation so I'm guessing that's a dead deal as well. Perhaps though if the levy passes in August or November for SWCS he'll hang the reins over to me concerning the Comets.

2.) Our kids had an incredible time at Young Life up at Lake Champion, and I can't wait to see how the rest of the summer goes. They definitely came back as changed kids; eager to learn about God, and devote themselves to Him after realizing how broken of lives they live and how broken down the world around them is. Yay for Jesus doin' work.

3.) Don't speed. It sucks.

Alright, so there's the interesting updates on my life. Now to the thoughts/musings/wonderings part of the post...

Lately I have just not been making nearly enough money at either of my jobs. Both are good jobs, with good people, but I don't get nearly enough hours at either one of them to save anything after making all my ends meet. It's really unfortunate on one hand. On the other hand, it's really forcing me to re-evaluate where my life is going and what I'm doing. I have always told myself since fall quarter of my freshman year of college that I wouldn't make any decision in life based on money and the ability to earn money. However, as I watch my friends around me save money, start looking into buying houses, buy new cars, buy things that they both need and want it starts to eat at me that I am unable to do anything that I truly want to do. Money is always a deterrent with me anymore. The crazy thing that I alluded to in another post is that as I get older the lie of needing to be viewed as successful in the eyes of the world becomes so much more attractive than it ever has been.

The thing is, I still seek desperately to lead high schools to the foot of the cross and I feel called to continue to do that. We all know I love track as well, and so I would love to continue coaching and having an impact on youth not just on my team, but others as well. Total side bar, but I was fortunate this year to be able to form relationships with athletes on other teams as well. No super intense conversations, but lots of bridge building and it was absolutely incredible. So back to loving track...real jobs don't always allow for you to get off of work at 3 everyday to go hang out with high schoolers (and win championships haha).

So I find myself in this place of balancing needing to make money and yet figuring out how to fulfill God's call in my life. I continue to want to do to vocational ministry but with the current economic situation there is more or less a hiring freeze within Young Life, and I'm sure other ministries are operating under much the same financial duress.

Lately I've been debating getting a much better paying job, which I actually indicated to my boss at Max & Erma's that I was interested in. So I may end up training to be an Assistant Manager sometime soon, which financially would help relieve many burdens. Other than that, I am still praying through 3 potential moves...

1.) Anywhere in Virginia, but specifically Blacksburg. I could potentially be a unpaid YL intern there as well as just get a change of scenery from a lot of perspectives, which I still feel I may need...

2.) Orlando, FL - my friends Robbie, Jim, and Fred from summer staff all want me to move down there to help them establish YL from a college volunteer leader perspective. UCF is one of the 5 largest universities and there are many suburbs around Orlando however there are very few leaders that come from there. The setup could become quite similar to Ohio State and Columbus...

3.) Raleigh - my great friend Kevin wants me to move there and help out with the youth in his church, and really it's beautiful down there, and another change of scenery would be great...

So there ya go. We'll see what happens. I'm not having a ton of luck with finding a house that works for all the guys that want to live together so maybe that's some sort of sign? Who knows...I just pray for God's sovereignty in my life and that I am able to glorify Him over anything else in my life...

Any thoughts or impressions are more than welcome...

Guess who's back...

Well hey there everybody! Although I gotta be honest, I'm not sure if there's much of an everybody or really even an anybody since it's been so long since I had any sort of significant post on these internets. For this I apologize, however since it's my blog I don't apologize too much. If you read this, chances are you already know how crazy my life was this spring with track, work, Young Life, moving, and all sorts of other fun things. It really was a fun spring. Unfortunately the busyness and bustling of it all (I'm not sure but you may only be legally allowed to use "bustling" around Christmas time...) left me in a very depleted spiritual state of life. I allowed myself to get quite complacent and didn't have any sort of pride in or fight for my walk and relationship with Christ. For those of you keeping score at home, this is a big one in the 'L' column. So recently I decided to really shed any and all excuses and make it a top priority to be spending all sorts of time with the Lord again on a daily basis. Now it hasn't been perfect, but it's a fun work in progress.

In other news, as I alluded to in a previous post (whenever the crap that was...) I moved back into the Brickhouse about a month ago. For those unfamiliar, this is where I spent the better part of my college career, even easily making myself the longest tenured member of this prestigious group of upstanding and legendary men. Not that that is really important at all. It's simultaneously been good and bad to be back there and on campus. On the plus part, my social life of hanging out with people has definitely increased in depth and width. We all know that I love hanging out with people and having great fellowship. On the flip side, I'm living in a messy undergrad house again, with the wonderful and every present possibility of crime lurking every night. While my social-ness has increased, it also is difficult because the guys in the house and I weren't roommates for the whole year and therefore are having to really work at having a real connection again. So like I said...thumbs up and thumbs down.

Right now the first ever camp trip from Central Crossing is taking place! With 8 freshmen guys and 1 sophomore girl, God is doing big things this week to be sure. In fact, as I write this they are probably eating appetizers and taking fun pictures outside of the dining hall before heading in for their formal end of the week dinner. I cannot wait to hear story upon story after they get back tomorrow night from my co-leader as well as all the kids. The Lord be praised!

In old news, I still have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I work at Max & Erma's and at Caribou. I'm still single. I don't know where I'm even living in the fall. However, I am currently in the middle of applying/interviewing for the vacant head track coach position at UAHS. We shall see if I am able to get that incredibly awesome post. I'd be the youngest head coach in the OCC for sure for track, and would amazingly be holding one of potentially the most coveted positions in central Ohio. This is an incredibly humbling thought even, and I can't imagine what cool stuff God could do through an opportunity like this. Hey, I'd even get to lead with Pat Pat and Red again. Hahaha...

Well that's about all I have for right now. I'll leave you with one really fun and funny thought though until next time...

Yesterday I was having dinner with Mike Davanzo at the amazing establishment of Skyline. You know you love it. Anyways, he observed that every employee at every Skyline he's ever been in is best friends with every other employee. No one is ever unhappy, no one is ever angry. It's like when you go there you're actually going to YL camp and they are a summer staff that is all best friends. I challenge you to go check it out...

just whelmed.

I can't believe I've been so negligent, and yet I can. I knew this was going to happen once track season started in earnest, as well as club got rolling, and I started a second job. The lose of free internet at home kinda helped the cause too...but I can't really complain about that one much. 

I have so many thoughts right now that I want to pour out onto here. Too many things have happened since I last really updated on too many different fronts in my life. I really don't even know where to start with all this...so in response I'm basically paralyzed about what to write as I sit here staring at the screen on my computer. 

We'll go with this...news.

1.) My roommate Kevin Johnson is getting married on May 30 and I'm in the process of moving out of his wonderful house in Hilliard. Where am I moving to for the summer you ask? The Brickhouse. That's right...another victory lap. Yikes.

2.) I'm still completely undecided on what I am going to do next in my life. Help?

3.) There's tons of weddings happening...I'm still single. Not minding it one bit. 

4.) Sports are exciting. Go Reds. Go Bengals. Go Bucks. Go Comets.

That's all I got for now. I'm still overwhelmed with needing to write everything down so for now I'm just gonna call it quits. 

Mucho amor.

I disappeared.

Sorry all...it's been a crazy busy time lately and I just haven't found the time to let you all in on my life. Apologies all over the place. I promise the posts will pick up sometime soon...just not sure when. 

Go Comets.

Staring into the uncertain...

Location: Caribou in Grandview, on the patio

Listening to: Kenny Chesney

Consuming: Green Tea...go Japan

So I'm sitting here on this wonderful patio, on this day that turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. I'm staring across Grandview Avenue at one of the most vibrant rainbows I've ever seen, and I can see it completed at either end, which is pretty darn sweet. Unfortunately the temperature is starting to dip down and so my flip-flopped feet are getting a little chilled, but that's alright; the rainbow wasn't just one, but rather another fainter and thicker one right in front of it. The old two-fer. Bam. Gotta love it.

Well I'm doing much better with the Lord than I was when last I checked in. However, I'm still running around like a chicken with my head cut off. In fact, Monday evenings seem like the only relaxed and chill time that I have anymore. I suppose though I wouldn't trade my hectic schedule for a light and really open one, but sometimes it starts to wear on you. Oh well, it's times like these that I am more disciplined and focused in all areas of my life, which obviously is a pretty good thing. 

As I sit here, I continually wonder about my future and what God has planned for my life, especially in the immediate timeframe on the next couple months and years. The thing about all of this is though, I know that I need to continually let it go and just be quiet and still before my Lord and my God in order to hear what He has for me. By the way, the rainbow has disappeared, but has instead been replaced by a beautiful sunset and incredible reflections of the sun on the clouds.

The thing about about it all is that I don't need to know. I'm on a need to know basis as a follower of Christ, and I never need to know; at least until right before something happens. So I could sit here and list off some pretty sweet situations that have started to present themselves to me, but I don't think I will. At least not yet until they are a little more plausible to happening. Both would keep me in Columbus a while longer, perhaps even for the long term. So who knows. If you want to know what they are just ask me, but I think I'll hold off on posting them, especially since one of them includes some potentially time sensitive information that I don't want just being spread over everywhere. 

(Ok, now the beautiful part of the sunset is gone, and the temperature is falling faster than Chad Ocho Cinco's career. I may have to take refuge inside from this increasing north and wicked cold wind...) (On the plus side my co-leader Vivake just got to Caribou, so boo yah)

Basically, under my blog title I have "Staring into the sweet uncertain..." and this entry title doesn't include the sweet part, however, I think it still is sweet. Isn't it great when you can work through something after having a certain stance when you first start out? Like when I began this entry I was on my more negative side of thinking on this whole future thing. (I tend to go back and forth like a bit of a roller coaster, if you will...) However now that I am finishing this lovely entry, I feel like the uncertain is again sweet and great because it is completely in the Lord and His will for my life. 

Boo yah.

I yawn too much to work at a coffee shop...

As most of you all know, for the longest time I worked at a wonderful food establishment called Zuppa UA. It was this great Italian restaurant with tasty sandwiches, great salads, mostly good soups, and filling pastas. It was a favorite of many, especially within the Upper Arlington community. Twas a sad day when it closed its doors for the last time, especially with all that I put into the place and the community over the previous four years. 

Well anyways, when all this went down I had to start searching for a job back in October. It took me over a month and many applications to find one, and this was even before the economy really really sucked! So I finally found two within two days; one at Macy's for the holidays, and one at Max & Erma's for real. Well the Macy's job was horrible, but I'm still serving at Max & Erma's. It really is a pretty decent job, but only being able to work the lunch hours because of my schedule hurts my earning power. So I was forced to find a second job again just recently. 

Two weeks ago I started working at my favorite coffee establishment, Caribou. Jyes, for all those times I spent money there, now they are giving it all back to me. Hah. So far it's wicked easy and is a pretty good job. The only drawback is that when I go in, I have to be there at 530 in the morning...ouch. The weirdest part about it though, is that later that day, by the time I eat lunch even, work will seem so long ago that it feels like it happened yesterday. In fact, that's what has happened yet again today...

I'm sitting here at a different Caribou with Pierce and work feels so long ago already. So that's a weird phenomenon. Just thought you all would like to know that. 

RE

I'm writing this entry with a big of hesitance. I really would like to blog about what's going on in my life right now, but yet I also don't. I'm trying to figure out what God wants for my life in the next stage of it, but I gotta be honest...my relationship with Christ has been crap lately.

Pure crap.

When I say that, I mean that I just haven't put in the necessary time to continue to deepen my time with Him. In fact, it's not even that I'm not deepening my relationship but rather that I'm not even doing up-keep. How can I possibly discern what Christ wants me to do if I don't hang out with Him and continue to get to know Him and grow accustomed to His voice?

I can't. 

So despite all these fun things that He is doing at Central Crossing through Young Life and others at the school, it kills me knowing that greater things could be happening if I were doing better with Him. 

A perfect song came on Pandora as I sat down at Caribou tonight to read and blog: Jeremy Camp's "Revive Me". 

Revive me, according to your loving kindness

Revive me, that I may seek You

Revive me, according to your loving kindness

Revive me, oh Lord.

Revive me, refresh me, reinstate me, receive me, oh Lord...that is my prayer. 

Semi-apologies that this isn't a great and fun post, but I felt it necessary to continue to be transparent in my seeking of the Lord and in living my life as a testimony for the great things the Lord has done

Empty = Full?

So I had this sort of epiphany while I was in church this morning. Of course today is the day that we celebrate that which makes our religion and God different from any other one out there. Today is the day that Christ rose from the grave to demonstrate his power over death and to free us from death. Easter Sunday...the day our God was resurrected not just in spirit, and he wasn't just almost dead, or dead for a couple minutes and they used the paddles (clear!) on him...no, he was dead and buried and entombed for three days and only then did He rise. 

Well getting back to the epiphany that I had this morning...I was sitting in church, listening to a song that was sort of worship for all and sort of just a performance for reflection. (it should also be noted that I initially typed "reflextion" for reflection...) I was staring up at the cross that was hanging above the stage and then looking back at the crosses that are normally hanging on the walls on either side of the stage. It struck me that in my mind I normally picture the cross with Jesus on it; that the only times I ever picture the cross in my head it has Christ crucified. I have pictured myself weeping at the foot of the cross, seeing Christ's blood on my hands, and yet hearing His words of love that I am His and that my sins are forgiven. 

In all reality though, only on Good Friday should I picture the cross with Christ on it. After that the cross is empty, and for part of Good Friday, all of Saturday, and some of Easter Sunday the tomb is full of the body of Christ. However, by the time most all of us head to Easter service on Sunday morning in fact, the tomb is now empty. In Matthew it doesn't say what time of the day, in Mark is says just after sunrise, in Luke it says very early in the day, and John says that while it was still dark, the women went to the tomb and saw that it was empty. 

Now in light of this fact, we also look in general at how counter-cultural the life of a true follower of Christ should look to that of those around him. Forgive our enemies? Turn the other cheek? Don't worry about tomorrow? All things that the world tells us is foolishness. However this is not the case. Going further, look at how counter-cultural this picture of both the cross and the tomb is this weekend especially. A gigantic difference in our religion verses that of any other world one is that our God is living and active. He has demonstrated even power over death. Other religions don't claim living deities. 

So check out again the picture of the empty cross and the empty tomb. Of course the empty cross signifies that "It is finished." and that the penalty for our sins was paid. How great this is when standing alone! Our God doesn't stop there though, He continues to demonstrate His power and love, when the tomb is proven empty of his body but full of his grave clothes. Just in the way that 2 Corinthians 5:17 says it so eloquently: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the one has gone, the new has come!" This is the picture of Christ as he leaves the empty tomb, leaving behind the old grave clothes of death, and bursting forth into glorious day. 

The power is not in the traditional worldly view of full is better, or there is power in fullness of something. No...power comes from the empty. The empty cross. The empty tomb. 

So yes, empty does equal full.

Happy Easter.